Showing a Little Flair

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When I was younger I was always a little out of place. I had lots of friends. Actually, I was friends with mostly everyone, but never really feeling like I had a place of my own. Being a 17 year old female who cared more about board games and softball and garage sale comic books than she did about boys was not as accepted in the early 90s as it is now.

As I got a little older I found my place. With my husbands gang, being a nerd was not only accepted, but really the only way to communicate! Games, comic books, and comic book movies – all part of it. Sitting in the living room until 2AM quoting Space Balls or discussing in depth whether Batman or Superman was better was a normal Saturday practice. I was so happy.  I just still felt like I was not 100% me. Still missing something that I knew I needed.

Moving ahead a few more years, I met someone (whom we will just call “HER” from here on) who was very much like me, only MORE. HER and I laughed at the same jokes, liked the same things, and both wanted to do something crazy, but worried that going outside of our comfort zone would be as scary as we thought it was. We became each others security blanket, both wanting to have an adventure, but still needing someone’s hand to hold in the process. Having HER around made me realize that was exactly how I was, and I didn’t want to be that way anymore.

Before HER, I was Mom and Wife. That was all. Before HER,  my comfort zone was inside the four walls of my home. Before HER, I was content with mediocrity.

Although things with HER went very very south, HER made me look at the world a little differently.

Now at almost 40, I am figuring it out…with HER pushing me a little further outside of my comfort zone, and my husband nurturing my love of all things nerdy (especially my love of Wonder Woman), I have learned that I can be more, and I want to be more.

I know it sounds odd to attribute so much of who I am to someone that I no longer want or have in my life, but as they say, “people come into your life for a reason…” and this could not be more true. HER brought so much into my life. HER brought the people who were meant to be in it – into my life. HER showed me how bad@ss I could be if I wanted to. HER even told me that I was the kind of person people wanted to be around.

Well, I continue to #becomingabetterme, I know I have more zest for life and this crazy flair on the inside for more adventure, so as I grow into the person I am really wanting to become, I am letting that flair show on the outside as well!

 

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