When I Grow Up…

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You can always tell how I feel in the AM based on my level of make up, whether my hair is done just right, or even the shoes that I wear. Today was one of those days… very little make up, jeans and tennies, and my hair was (at best) brushed. Just was not into Tuesday – and no amount of coffee was going to change that.
Then it happened. My lunch with Jenn.
We opted for the Garden Table since they have vegan meals there. I was super happy about that because the atmosphere there is always open and easy.
As we started talking about the current events in our lives, our conversation took a serious turn. I would almost call it the “What I want to be when I grow up” conversation. We discussed the whys and what fors of our lives and where and how we wanted to get there…. She shared with me the arguments she has with herself and I told her about mine. With ZERO sarcasm, I can say it really was a wonderful time.

Heart to heart
Now that I am back at work (shhh… don’t tell that I typing this and not working, but I HAD to get this pen to paper so to speak), I have had a chance to breath it all in.
This journey of #becomingabetterme has basically been my WHY. When I started the healthy living, exercise, and self-discovery path, I knew I wanted to share with others the good, the bad, and the ugly of what it takes to be a better Heather, but I wanted to show the world that if I could do it, anyone could. How is that a WHY, you might ask – well to me its simple… I want to be a positive light in someone else’s life. I want to show the world that it is possible to achieve your goals – even if it takes a life time, and I want to show the world that this ol’ dog learned some tricks, and will continue to do so!
It is not every day that you get to have a heart to heart with a dear friend, and even more that you don’t get to have a conversation that makes you think seriously about who you are to the core.


I know that I am not perfect, I know that I never will be – but I am happy with myself. I still have a ways go, but I am #becomingabetterme and I am learning a little more each day about the Heather I want to be.
Thank you Jenn for reminding me to look at the reasons in life, and I look forward to seeing your perspective, as we continue on this journey of life and #becomingabetterme(s).

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End of 2017 – So, I am a Procrastinator

23167755_10214107506502267_2724069446111979931_nIf I had to rank 2017 on my “Top years of my life” I would say it was not in the Top 10… Not the Top 20 even. 2017 was really a rough year for me. Especially on the heels of 2016, which happened to be freaking amazing. Do not get me wrong, there were good times, I am not saying it was all bad, but it was very challenging and there were several changes.

You already know about the cruise (highlight), Kokomo experience (low), job change (highlight and scary experience), but you dont know about is the way the year ended… including how I ended the Log Blog – Making the Miles Count. The last post was in September, so Oct – Dec are a mystery to you…. did I make it to my 500 Miles in 2017?! Short answer: YES I DID!

October was a very “walkie” month for me as I spent a lot of time with vendors walking my properties and getting quotes, so I got in roughly 65 miles that month. Then November we decided we were going to start looking for a bigger house so we started heavy duty packing, purging, and cleaning – racked up 80 miles that month. (I believe most of those steps were to and from the trash can as I purged WAY more than my hubs expected!) Then December – another crazy month! With the Christmas season we had a tree to fill so there was a lot of mall walking, and still more cleaning, and then once our house was on the market – we had to find something to do during showings, so those hours we window shopped a lot.  Grand total of miles for Dec was 68 miles.

So for my Log Blog – I succeed. I am proud of that.

What I am not proud of is how in all of the chaos and I let ME get away from me. The person who goes to the gym to release the stress, the person who take a challenge head on (even if I talk about how I dont want to do it and am scared, I still move forward), and the me who learned what it felt like to healthy and happy at the same time and not allow myself to eat my feelings… that girl got lost in 2017.

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I guess as I sit here and reflect on what all happened at the end of 2017, I have to give myself a bit of a truth biscuit to chew on… maybe a glass of water so I dont choke on the crumbs, because although I did fall back a few steps (and gained back a few more lbs than I wanted to), I did make it HERE. To the new house, still at (and loving) the new job, with new adventures in front of me. Not only that, but I am back at the gym at least 2 times a week. I am seriously thinking about finding a new Mr T… or maybe this time I will go with a Mrs T? A trainer with a different perspective on exercise, someone to learn more from – or even to build on what my 1st Mr T taught me.  Who knows, I am unpredictable after all 🙂

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I guess to sum up my 2017 – not my finest year… but hey, just like on the spartan course, there are hills and there are valleys… I consider 2017 a hill… a muddy, slopped, rocky, and never ending hill… I just need to look at 2018 as the slide down the other side and continue on this journey of #becomingabetterme and make this year what I want of it!

 

Truth Seekers…

I know, I know I have not posted in awhile… I am sorry. I have about 3 other posts waiting for me to finish. Including my Hello November and Hello December as well as a year end recap and an in between about a really good friend of mine. I promise, I will get them out really soon… but right now I want to talk about Truth Seekers.

Before I start this post, I feel it is important to mention I do not think I am a fitness expert or a dietitian extraordinaire, but what I can say is I am someone who has been there. Someone who has asked the questions and learned from doing. That is why I feel the need to share my experiences for those who might currently be in the shoes I wore at the beginning of this journey.

truth

Most recently I got an email about how a friend felt like they “failed” at CrossFit. First, my opinion is if you can handle 5 mins of CrossFit you are SOOO not a failure! You might be crazy, but a failure – you are not!

My words to my friend were simple:

Who cares if you didnt finish the full work out? If the answer is anyone but YOU then your answer is wrong. You are not in competition with anyone but yourself, therefore no other opinion should matter.

When you do CrossFit, do you do more each time you go? If the answer is YES, then you know in your heart you are on the right path.

I went on to say: If you dont see improvement, then start a journal. If this week’s CrossFit routine is 100 box jumps and 200 jumping jacks and 100 burpees (etc with the crazy work out routine) and this time you did 10 box jumps and 20 jumping jacks and 1 burpee then great. Next week when you do 15 box jumps, 40 jumping jacks and 2 burpees… well, you improved! You just bested your best.. and next week you will best your best’s best! 🙂

My friend was happy with that answer… because it was the truth and they needed to hear that.

When I started the journey of#becomingabetterme I was a truth seeker. I thought at first, I was looking for approval or acknowledgement of my small accomplishment, and maybe to start I was, but ultimately I wanted someone to point out that I was really moving forward… and this is me telling you, friend, you are moving forward. You are doing great. Just keep on moving and when it is your turn to help another Truth Seeker, just remember your journey and how you felt in this moment.

Good, Bad… and this is ugly!

23658908_10214217539653027_3554832594961421350_nI have been on this venture for over two years now and I have finally figured out the UGLY. It isn’t the pain you feel when you roll out of bed the morning after a hard work out. It isn’t seeing the most gorgeous chocolate cake with the glossiest of chocolate icing and knowing it isn’t on your diet. It isn’t even knowing that although you made it over one of the walls in a Spartan Race, but knowing you have a minimum of 6 more to go. No. its none of those things.

Its the knowledge that you let time, obstacles, and life get in the way and the scales tells you that you have seriously let yourself go. The pain of knowing that you are the only reason things are this way is YOU. Its your fault… your bad… your mistake. Its all you!!!

Yup. I stepped on the scale and saw it. All that work, all those gym trips, the disciple and strength – wasted.  It is so sad to think that I was ok with the excuses.

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Mr T kicked my butt enough for me to know what I need to do and I damn well better get back into it!

I am not saying that I am 100% on the right path, but I have gotten a new battery for my garmin, started food tracking again on Fitness Pal, and even have plans to gym it up several times this week. I cannot keep backsliding. I was far to happy seeing the positive results I was getting – and I am not throwing it all away now!

I need help people, I have to get the drive and desire to #becomingabetterme back… I need a fire under my ass, I need a push… I need someone to yell at me and keep me going – not someone handing me chips while I sit on the couch to watch a movie! I am begging you, my readers to be that! Send me a text, give me a call, challenge me! Help me get back to #becomingabetterme

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Getting out the Trail Shoes Again

 

22135498_10213809396449702_651359093594914708_oAs a Hoosier there is nothing better than seeing the leaves change and knowing that sweatshirts and caramel apples are upon us… unless you like adventure – then there is something better!

Yesterday Angel and I put on our (underused) Salomons and went for a hike at Turkey Run State Park. There are trails there that range from .4 miles up to 2 miles, and then go from easy to rugged. As Spartan Chicks we were not going to let those easy and .4 milers be our day!  Trails #3 and #4 were the moderate/rugged to rugged as well as the longest ones, so that was what we did.

I have said in passing that the last year has been crazy – even stressful, but being out there yesterday made me remember that there is so much more to life than just working. Yes, what I was doing was important, of that I am sure – but what I lost sight of was how important I am.  I spent far too much time in the gym losing those 40 lbs and gaining self esteem, to let it fall by the wayside.

When I did the first Spartan it was 3500 stadium stairs (which completely explains my hatred for stairs) and in the second one, my toes and socks were all wet – well, as I was hiking yesterday I laughed at the fact that I spent so much money to do out of state what I could do right here in Indy, and at my own pace! I know it is all about the medal and the shirt at the end, but I felt just as accomplished yesterday as I did both of the days  I got my medals.

Anywho, back to the hike…

We climbs hundreds of stairs, we went down hundreds of more steps, we climbed over down trees, we walked through water, we did it all! The best part of everything  was the company. More than the caramel apples, more than the comfy sweatshirts, more than the leaves in the fall, there is nothing more soothing than just walking in the woods on a Sunday with your best friend.

These are the moments where #becomingabetterme mean the most and #movingforward the most rewarding.

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Hello May, June, July, and August – Making the Miles Count MORE! (Log Blog)

I am not going to sit here and bore you with the details of why I have gone off the grid for the last few months, but I will say I think I am back.

I can say that with the craziness of the old job (yes, I said old job – and I will get into that here shortly), and starting at a new place (again I will go into that too), I have not really logged every mile like I was. I can say with 100% certainty that I made my goal! I promise.

Here are the basic breakdowns and why I know I did it:

MAY – I was still in Kokomo. Yes, Kokomo. Like living away from home to get the community up there leased. I was walking the building at least 3 times a day and there were three flights, two wings, and 64 apartments… so at the end of the day (which was sometimes not over until 10pm), I would look at my Garmin and see 3+ miles. This was my life Monday – Friday and then home on the weekend. So even if I did NOTHING on the weekend I was still looking at minimum of 15 miles a work week… and we all know I don’t do NOTHING. Even going to Walmart requires walking so “no steps on the weekend” was an impossibility. Lets just call it basic math… 3miles/day times 5days/week times 4weeks/month (3x5x4) equals 60 miles. See GOAL!

JUNE – June was a busy month. Not only was I still kind of in Kokomo, but my daughter graduated high school, we moved our main office, my birth month, my daughter’s open house, and I know I am missing something… but I can get my point across with this. As I stated, I was still in Kokomo training the woman who would be the manager there, not only giving her the tours, but still showing and renting apartments there. I will say that I didn’t walk as much once I started  training, but I can say, there were 2 miles a days every day I was there. I had to squeeze in Kats grad and the open house… the shopping for that put me at a total of 6 miles over the two shopping days. Then coming back to Indy and trying to get things packed and ready for the move, I had a few days in there I racked up 5 miles. Crazy I know, but true. As a matter of fact I worked on my birthday to get the main move done and between that Friday and Saturday I had 9 miles in. Now I know I am throwing small numbers at you, but those numbers add up. So for simple math sake, lets say I only did 2 miles every day… 2miles per day times 30 days in June equals another 60 miles. GOAL AGAIN.

JULY – I am not going to pretend I have an specific dates that give me more miles than the norm, but I did manage to stop working 60-75 hours a week and get back to a more regular schedule and get in some gym time. As I put in my notice for the 28th o f July as my last day with Partners, I did get to do a little more than just work and sleep, so I am just going to say 1.75 miles a day for 31 days = 54.25 miles…  I added an extra .25 miles per day because the new office put the bathroom WAAAY at the other end of the hall so there was a lot of walking after drinking my 2 cups of coffee and my big bottles of water everyday. So I am still claiming  goal.

So here we are in August… Aug 1 was the start of my new job. This I can do a little more mathing to get to my numbers (I know the month isn’t over, but I can still average it all out in the end. To start I didn’t get a parking pass on day one… or even day 10 for that matter, so by day three I was looking to see exactly how far from the lot I had to park in to the office door it really was…. over .41 miles. yeah… so walked from my car to the office and then back  – A MINIMUM of .82 miles a day. Yeah, damn near a mile a day just to and from the office! Then on day 14 I got my pass. It knocked down my miles from .41 to .28… so still a half mile from car to door. Then you add in GenCon (glorious glorious GenCon) HOLY COW! In 3.5 days of this gaming extravaganza we racked up more than 18 miles! So, math – 18 plus (gonna say 2 miles per day – minus the GenCon days) two miles times 31 days minus 3.5 days = 2×27.5+18 = 73 miles for the month. GOAL ACHEIVED.

As I head into another month and continue on the journey of  #becomingabetterme and continuing to learn more about housing – just in a different form, I know I am on the right path and September will prove to be another successful month. Just wait and see faithful readers. I got this.

When Life Gives You Lemons… or However That Goes

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I do not know exactly how this is going to turn out because honestly, I have so many things swimming in my head that I do not know where to begin.

After stepping off of the boat from the cruise I found out that everything at work had gone HAYWIRE. I am not going to go into any details, but trust me, it was not good.

When you are the Director of Property Operations, and a property isn’t operating, its up to you to deal with it… whether I liked it or not, it was the only option, I was going to be going to Kokomo (an hour and a half away from my house) to handle the problem.

I wont bore you with compliance details or info on what Low Income Housing Tax Credit is, but since that is the core of my job, I had to take care of it because losing money at a nonprofit is not an option.

Going into the property knowing I had less than 20 days to get an specific number of residents was a heavy load to carry. I knew that I would be able to get the applications –  it was just the processing and the moving in that I was concerned about. Sure 20 days seems like a long time, but when you only have nine days to sign the leases, the 20 is cut down rather quickly. Truly, sincerely, legitimately scared I was not going to be able to make it happen. I do not think I have ever been so stressed in my life and being away from home, in a strange town just added to it.IMG_3327

Since my blog always has something about gym therapy or working out the stress with exercise, I feel like I should add that in as well. Working from 8am until 10pm some days left little time to sweat out my emotions, until I realized how many stairs there were in the building. At the end of a rough day (again sometimes at 10pm) I would put on my tennies and just walk the stairs. Over the course of 13 business days I was at the property I would get in over 3 miles a day. I wish my Garmin counted the actual flights of stairs, rather than just plan steps taken, because I know I went up and down those things at least 50 times! It was not enough to work out the stress, but it did take the edge off.

Going back to the problem I was facing: how was I going to accomplish this goal???? What the EPH was I going to do?!?!

The answer turned out to be – JUST DO IT! More than that, do IT – and then some. FullSizeR

Now, instead of being behind and worrying about whether we could make it all happen, I am ahead of the game. Still have a long way to go, still have to be away from my family, but trying to do right by the people we serve, make a difference in the community, and support my organization.

Is it hard, hell yes its hard! Have I cried, hell yes I have! Will I break down again? I am sure of it… but I am not a quitter and failure is not an option.

LOG BLOG – Every Mile Count, Hello February!

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I waited until the end of the month before I started this blog. Although I was REALLY bad and did not distinguish between gym and life miles I did log every single day before I went to bed!

Here goes:

2/1  1.75

2/2  1.21

2/3  1.38

2/4  1.92

2/5  2.31

2/6  2.81

2/7  1.81

2/8  2.93

2/9  2.12

2/10  2.41

2/11  2.39

2/12  2.07

2/13  2.92

2/14 1.87

2/15  2.18

2/16  1.78

2/17  1.39

2/18  1.47

2/19  2.37

2/20  1.77

2/21  1.97

2/22  2.53

2/23  1.99

2/24  1.81

2/25  2.92

2/2  1.11

2/27  2.03

2/28  2.38

month total = 61.51

My 50 miles in a month success!

 

 

 

LOG BLOG — Every Mile Counts: January

This is the first of 12 blogs that will be tracking the miles I put in. I decided to track both “regular” walking miles and then what miles I do that gym, whether it be on the treadmill, elliptical, or bike and I will make sure I specify. Since the regular miles are just what happens when I am dealing with the day to day, I am going to call them LIFE MILES. I will make it a point to take off my Garmin to show the difference between the two counts.

**I will also post every day by adding to this post, not creating a new one. I might mix it up and add pictures… one never knows what a Heather might do during this journey!

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OK, so now that the guidelines are out there, January… I am coming for you!

 

January 2:

Life miles – 1.31/Treadmill – 1.5

total 2.81

January 3:

total 4.52

January 4:

all life miles today 2.14

total 6.66

January 5:

Although I forgot my Garmin, it would not have mattered. I drove to Kokomo with a coworker, sat in an interview, then drove all over Kokomo while she got in and out of the car dropping off flyers. I was a chauffeur, at best! Then after being in the car for 8 hours, I sat in a 2.5 hour swim meet. No life miles, no gym miles to log!

January 6:

all life miles 1.07

total 7.73

January 7:

all life miles, but errand running adds up! 2.12

total 9.85

January 8:

all life miles 1.47

total 11.32

January 9:

all life miles 1.78

total 13.1 (look! it only took me 9 days to run a half!)

January 10:

more life miles 1.43

total 14.53

January 11:

still life miles 2.09

total 16.62

January 12:

all life – still working far too much – 1.39

total 18.01

January 13:

life miles miles – 1.78

treadmill miles – 2.00

total 21.79

January 14:

since I will be working the remainder of the day, I am calling today all treadmill miles – 1.50

total 23.29

January 15:

I won’t lie, I vegged –  0.93 miles

total 24.22

January 16:

life miles 1.36

total 25.58

January 17:

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life miles 1.49

bike miles .49

treadmill miles 2.63

total 30.19

January 18:

life miles 2.12

total 32.31

January 19:

life miles 2.23

total 36.77

January 20:

life miles 2.42.

total 39.19

January 21:

life miles 1.89

total 41.08

January 22:

life miles (or in today’s case work miles.) 2.31

total 43.39

January 23:

life miles 2.03

total 45.42

January 24:

life miles 1.76

total 47.18

January 25:

life miles 1.39

total 48.57

January 26:

life miles 2.89

total 51.46

January 27:

life miles .98

total 52.44

January 28:

life miles 1.87

total 54.31

January 29:

life miles 1.92

total 56.23

January 30:

life miles 2.12

total 58.35

January 31:

life miles 1.65

total 60

 

MONTHLY TOTAL IS OVER 50 MILES!!!!

I had a rough month with Kat’s swimming, work being crazy, and then the cold weather… but since we now know I can do it, gonna push it further next month!!!

 

Fell of the Wagon…

fullsizerI’M BACK!!

When I decided today (the Monday after Thanksgiving) that I would be “getting back on the wagon” I laughed at myself because I really didn’t know the meaning or origin of the phrase… so in the tradition of #becomingabetterme, I looked it up…

“The ‘wagon’ in this American expression refers to the water wagons used to sprinkle water on the streets to keep the dust down. During the times of Prohibition in the 19th century, men often climbed onto these wagons and took an oath they would give up alcohol and drink only water. This gave rise to the expression ‘to be on the water cart/wagon’; it was later shortened to ‘on the wagon’.

When these individuals broke their pledge and started hitting the bottle again, they were said to have ‘fallen off the wagon’. ”   (yes, I googled it, and yes that is a direct quote from an article called “Know Your English”)img_1909

Anywho, the point is, I let things get in the way of my biggest need – the exercise. I am sure that some people roll their eyes at that statement, but the truth is, I do need it. My mother once told me that when you work out regularly, your body comes to REQUIRE the exercise. Of course at the time I thought she was crazy, but it turns out she was correct – who woulda thunk??? A Mom… correct??? Wow… Earth shattering!

So here is it, my declaration… I am back on the wagon and back to my goal of #becomingabetterme.  Tonight I sweat, tonight I ate well, and tomorrow I will be sore. But I will be happy, and ready to do it again!