When I Grow Up…

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You can always tell how I feel in the AM based on my level of make up, whether my hair is done just right, or even the shoes that I wear. Today was one of those days… very little make up, jeans and tennies, and my hair was (at best) brushed. Just was not into Tuesday – and no amount of coffee was going to change that.
Then it happened. My lunch with Jenn.
We opted for the Garden Table since they have vegan meals there. I was super happy about that because the atmosphere there is always open and easy.
As we started talking about the current events in our lives, our conversation took a serious turn. I would almost call it the “What I want to be when I grow up” conversation. We discussed the whys and what fors of our lives and where and how we wanted to get there…. She shared with me the arguments she has with herself and I told her about mine. With ZERO sarcasm, I can say it really was a wonderful time.

Heart to heart
Now that I am back at work (shhh… don’t tell that I typing this and not working, but I HAD to get this pen to paper so to speak), I have had a chance to breath it all in.
This journey of #becomingabetterme has basically been my WHY. When I started the healthy living, exercise, and self-discovery path, I knew I wanted to share with others the good, the bad, and the ugly of what it takes to be a better Heather, but I wanted to show the world that if I could do it, anyone could. How is that a WHY, you might ask – well to me its simple… I want to be a positive light in someone else’s life. I want to show the world that it is possible to achieve your goals – even if it takes a life time, and I want to show the world that this ol’ dog learned some tricks, and will continue to do so!
It is not every day that you get to have a heart to heart with a dear friend, and even more that you don’t get to have a conversation that makes you think seriously about who you are to the core.


I know that I am not perfect, I know that I never will be – but I am happy with myself. I still have a ways go, but I am #becomingabetterme and I am learning a little more each day about the Heather I want to be.
Thank you Jenn for reminding me to look at the reasons in life, and I look forward to seeing your perspective, as we continue on this journey of life and #becomingabetterme(s).

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End of 2017 – So, I am a Procrastinator

23167755_10214107506502267_2724069446111979931_nIf I had to rank 2017 on my “Top years of my life” I would say it was not in the Top 10… Not the Top 20 even. 2017 was really a rough year for me. Especially on the heels of 2016, which happened to be freaking amazing. Do not get me wrong, there were good times, I am not saying it was all bad, but it was very challenging and there were several changes.

You already know about the cruise (highlight), Kokomo experience (low), job change (highlight and scary experience), but you dont know about is the way the year ended… including how I ended the Log Blog – Making the Miles Count. The last post was in September, so Oct – Dec are a mystery to you…. did I make it to my 500 Miles in 2017?! Short answer: YES I DID!

October was a very “walkie” month for me as I spent a lot of time with vendors walking my properties and getting quotes, so I got in roughly 65 miles that month. Then November we decided we were going to start looking for a bigger house so we started heavy duty packing, purging, and cleaning – racked up 80 miles that month. (I believe most of those steps were to and from the trash can as I purged WAY more than my hubs expected!) Then December – another crazy month! With the Christmas season we had a tree to fill so there was a lot of mall walking, and still more cleaning, and then once our house was on the market – we had to find something to do during showings, so those hours we window shopped a lot.  Grand total of miles for Dec was 68 miles.

So for my Log Blog – I succeed. I am proud of that.

What I am not proud of is how in all of the chaos and I let ME get away from me. The person who goes to the gym to release the stress, the person who take a challenge head on (even if I talk about how I dont want to do it and am scared, I still move forward), and the me who learned what it felt like to healthy and happy at the same time and not allow myself to eat my feelings… that girl got lost in 2017.

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I guess as I sit here and reflect on what all happened at the end of 2017, I have to give myself a bit of a truth biscuit to chew on… maybe a glass of water so I dont choke on the crumbs, because although I did fall back a few steps (and gained back a few more lbs than I wanted to), I did make it HERE. To the new house, still at (and loving) the new job, with new adventures in front of me. Not only that, but I am back at the gym at least 2 times a week. I am seriously thinking about finding a new Mr T… or maybe this time I will go with a Mrs T? A trainer with a different perspective on exercise, someone to learn more from – or even to build on what my 1st Mr T taught me.  Who knows, I am unpredictable after all 🙂

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I guess to sum up my 2017 – not my finest year… but hey, just like on the spartan course, there are hills and there are valleys… I consider 2017 a hill… a muddy, slopped, rocky, and never ending hill… I just need to look at 2018 as the slide down the other side and continue on this journey of #becomingabetterme and make this year what I want of it!

 

Truth Seekers…

I know, I know I have not posted in awhile… I am sorry. I have about 3 other posts waiting for me to finish. Including my Hello November and Hello December as well as a year end recap and an in between about a really good friend of mine. I promise, I will get them out really soon… but right now I want to talk about Truth Seekers.

Before I start this post, I feel it is important to mention I do not think I am a fitness expert or a dietitian extraordinaire, but what I can say is I am someone who has been there. Someone who has asked the questions and learned from doing. That is why I feel the need to share my experiences for those who might currently be in the shoes I wore at the beginning of this journey.

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Most recently I got an email about how a friend felt like they “failed” at CrossFit. First, my opinion is if you can handle 5 mins of CrossFit you are SOOO not a failure! You might be crazy, but a failure – you are not!

My words to my friend were simple:

Who cares if you didnt finish the full work out? If the answer is anyone but YOU then your answer is wrong. You are not in competition with anyone but yourself, therefore no other opinion should matter.

When you do CrossFit, do you do more each time you go? If the answer is YES, then you know in your heart you are on the right path.

I went on to say: If you dont see improvement, then start a journal. If this week’s CrossFit routine is 100 box jumps and 200 jumping jacks and 100 burpees (etc with the crazy work out routine) and this time you did 10 box jumps and 20 jumping jacks and 1 burpee then great. Next week when you do 15 box jumps, 40 jumping jacks and 2 burpees… well, you improved! You just bested your best.. and next week you will best your best’s best! 🙂

My friend was happy with that answer… because it was the truth and they needed to hear that.

When I started the journey of#becomingabetterme I was a truth seeker. I thought at first, I was looking for approval or acknowledgement of my small accomplishment, and maybe to start I was, but ultimately I wanted someone to point out that I was really moving forward… and this is me telling you, friend, you are moving forward. You are doing great. Just keep on moving and when it is your turn to help another Truth Seeker, just remember your journey and how you felt in this moment.

Log Blog: Hello September

I understand that this a little late, but you have to understand I have been in mourning…

The Christmas of 2014 my husband bought me a Garmin Vivofit and in the instruction booklet it stated the battery would last about a year. Well, September 20, 2017 it finally pooped out.

Because of this lil dead battery I have been completely lost. RIP lil batteries, I cannot wait to get you replaced (and to ease my suffering I even bought myself a few extra colored watch bands!)

I know that I have been able to get to the gym about once a week for an extra 1-2 miles a week… then the half mile walk in and out of the office at least once a day.

So if I am doing simple math, I am looking at roughly 1.5 miles Monday thru Friday (that is 20 work days) = 30miles

Then once a week adding another 1.5 for gym visits (that is 4 extra counts) = 6 miles

Then I was trying really hard to make sure I did a little extra on the weekends so I am going to say that each of the weekends I did about 4 miles… (that is 5 weekends) = 20miles

SO to do a monkey-kinda-math breakdown, as I did above, I would say I have walked 56 miles in September.

I know this isn’t an exact number, but I am going to count this!

Keeping a pretty good run with this 50 miles a month so far! Winter is coming, we will see if I  have enough grit to keep it going!!!

Getting out the Trail Shoes Again

 

22135498_10213809396449702_651359093594914708_oAs a Hoosier there is nothing better than seeing the leaves change and knowing that sweatshirts and caramel apples are upon us… unless you like adventure – then there is something better!

Yesterday Angel and I put on our (underused) Salomons and went for a hike at Turkey Run State Park. There are trails there that range from .4 miles up to 2 miles, and then go from easy to rugged. As Spartan Chicks we were not going to let those easy and .4 milers be our day!  Trails #3 and #4 were the moderate/rugged to rugged as well as the longest ones, so that was what we did.

I have said in passing that the last year has been crazy – even stressful, but being out there yesterday made me remember that there is so much more to life than just working. Yes, what I was doing was important, of that I am sure – but what I lost sight of was how important I am.  I spent far too much time in the gym losing those 40 lbs and gaining self esteem, to let it fall by the wayside.

When I did the first Spartan it was 3500 stadium stairs (which completely explains my hatred for stairs) and in the second one, my toes and socks were all wet – well, as I was hiking yesterday I laughed at the fact that I spent so much money to do out of state what I could do right here in Indy, and at my own pace! I know it is all about the medal and the shirt at the end, but I felt just as accomplished yesterday as I did both of the days  I got my medals.

Anywho, back to the hike…

We climbs hundreds of stairs, we went down hundreds of more steps, we climbed over down trees, we walked through water, we did it all! The best part of everything  was the company. More than the caramel apples, more than the comfy sweatshirts, more than the leaves in the fall, there is nothing more soothing than just walking in the woods on a Sunday with your best friend.

These are the moments where #becomingabetterme mean the most and #movingforward the most rewarding.

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I Don’t Know!

FullSizeR (3)Have I mentioned my job change lately?  Yeah, I believe I have… and with all new jobs, there is always a learning curve, but tonight was WAAYYY different.

Let me start by saying, I have been in housing for 10 years, and in those 10 years have just constantly added to my knowledge base.

Tax Credit, got it. HOME, got it. AHP, got it. Section 8, got it. CoC, got it. HUDVash, got it. I have just taken each section and built on it.  Never at any point did I ever feel like I was completely learning something new. Just built further on what I already knew.

Now that I am in a totally different arena within the housing industry I am reminded what it is like to not be 100% aware of what I am doing, and this is territory I am not used to!

I do not mean to sound conceited, I promise! I just remember rules and am good with detail, and as I have said since I found myself in housing, “Housing is either in your blood or its not… and it is in mine!”

Tonight had me way out of my comfort zone. I was seriously at a loss. This branch of housing has a lot to do with legal jargon and understanding of bylaws, covenants, and voting quorums. Every question for the first 20 mins, and then every 5 mins for the rest of the 2 hour meeting was about the legal side of things.

I had to step back, recognize my shortcoming, and ask for help… and thank goodness I had something with me that could handle what was being thrown at us.

As I have spent several of those 10 years training and assisting others, I have received compliments like, “I hope I know as much about housing as you do at some point.” Or, “Ask Heather-pedia, she knows housing!” and I really never thought anything of it, until I looked at my coworker tonight and thought, “I cant wait until I get to that point.”

I know this isn’t my traditional style post, but I do kind of have a moral to this story… I felt so out of my element, but it is ok to not know. It is ok to ask for help. It is ok to have a new knowledge goal – just like a physical goal. It is just one step in #becomingabetterme, and I will continue to exercise my brain and one day I will reach that goal too!

Venturing Out: A Walk in the City

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As I sit here and type this I cant help but to chuckle at myself. A walk. A simple little walk and I have my arm flexed over my shoulder happily patting myself on the back. Half in seriousness, half in jest.

Today I got to a spot in my day where I could take a break so I messaged a friend and asked if they would like to grab lunch. I knew getting fresh air would probably do us both good, so I thought it was worth a try. Surprisingly the answer was YES and we agreed on the Living Room Lounge. Nothing special, but they have decent food and decent seating and the distance was not too bad either.

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As I started walking to the door I found myself having a bit of an internal struggle: do I walk the quarter mile to my car and then drive the half mile to lunch, or do I risk going on foot and possibly being late? Lots of questions went through my head…

what if I get tired on the way there? (BRAIN-drive)

what if there is no parking? (BRAIN-walk)

what if I get a blister from these shoes? (BRAIN-drive)

what if it turns out to be a waste of gas? (BRAIN-walk)

I started to look like the duck that you shoot at the county fairs, and I was getting dizzy walking back and forth in front of the door!

I made the executive decision to just hoof it! Yup, I was going to walk the half mile there and hope I wasn’t late! SIDE NOTE: I have been going to the gym for what, two plus years now, and I know that my directions telling me it was a 12 min walk was incorrect! If I can whoop out a mile in less than 20, I can sure get a half in less than 12!

Anywho, I did it. I met my friend for lunch (even beat them there), and had a great time. (Thank you again, Friend… if you are reading this)

The walk back was just about the same…an easygoing, beautiful day in Indy, and I loved it.

So now I am sure you are thinking, “OK Heather, where is the great moral or even small point to this interesting story?” The point is simple… especially if you have met me… I stepped even further out of my comfort zone! I walked almost a mile to and from lunch during the week! For me that was another obstacle in my life. Venturing out when I was on a schedule and couldn’t just flop down after it was over! Going it alone! Doing something that felt a little scary, but still so very right.

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I know it is small potatoes to a lot of people… maybe even you… but when I was standing at the cross walk looking at my building, I felt something I haven’t really felt in awhile – I felt proud of me.  It has been a minute since I did something that I can truly say is part of the journey of #becomingabetterme, but this was definitely a good something.

Hello May, June, July, and August – Making the Miles Count MORE! (Log Blog)

I am not going to sit here and bore you with the details of why I have gone off the grid for the last few months, but I will say I think I am back.

I can say that with the craziness of the old job (yes, I said old job – and I will get into that here shortly), and starting at a new place (again I will go into that too), I have not really logged every mile like I was. I can say with 100% certainty that I made my goal! I promise.

Here are the basic breakdowns and why I know I did it:

MAY – I was still in Kokomo. Yes, Kokomo. Like living away from home to get the community up there leased. I was walking the building at least 3 times a day and there were three flights, two wings, and 64 apartments… so at the end of the day (which was sometimes not over until 10pm), I would look at my Garmin and see 3+ miles. This was my life Monday – Friday and then home on the weekend. So even if I did NOTHING on the weekend I was still looking at minimum of 15 miles a work week… and we all know I don’t do NOTHING. Even going to Walmart requires walking so “no steps on the weekend” was an impossibility. Lets just call it basic math… 3miles/day times 5days/week times 4weeks/month (3x5x4) equals 60 miles. See GOAL!

JUNE – June was a busy month. Not only was I still kind of in Kokomo, but my daughter graduated high school, we moved our main office, my birth month, my daughter’s open house, and I know I am missing something… but I can get my point across with this. As I stated, I was still in Kokomo training the woman who would be the manager there, not only giving her the tours, but still showing and renting apartments there. I will say that I didn’t walk as much once I started  training, but I can say, there were 2 miles a days every day I was there. I had to squeeze in Kats grad and the open house… the shopping for that put me at a total of 6 miles over the two shopping days. Then coming back to Indy and trying to get things packed and ready for the move, I had a few days in there I racked up 5 miles. Crazy I know, but true. As a matter of fact I worked on my birthday to get the main move done and between that Friday and Saturday I had 9 miles in. Now I know I am throwing small numbers at you, but those numbers add up. So for simple math sake, lets say I only did 2 miles every day… 2miles per day times 30 days in June equals another 60 miles. GOAL AGAIN.

JULY – I am not going to pretend I have an specific dates that give me more miles than the norm, but I did manage to stop working 60-75 hours a week and get back to a more regular schedule and get in some gym time. As I put in my notice for the 28th o f July as my last day with Partners, I did get to do a little more than just work and sleep, so I am just going to say 1.75 miles a day for 31 days = 54.25 miles…  I added an extra .25 miles per day because the new office put the bathroom WAAAY at the other end of the hall so there was a lot of walking after drinking my 2 cups of coffee and my big bottles of water everyday. So I am still claiming  goal.

So here we are in August… Aug 1 was the start of my new job. This I can do a little more mathing to get to my numbers (I know the month isn’t over, but I can still average it all out in the end. To start I didn’t get a parking pass on day one… or even day 10 for that matter, so by day three I was looking to see exactly how far from the lot I had to park in to the office door it really was…. over .41 miles. yeah… so walked from my car to the office and then back  – A MINIMUM of .82 miles a day. Yeah, damn near a mile a day just to and from the office! Then on day 14 I got my pass. It knocked down my miles from .41 to .28… so still a half mile from car to door. Then you add in GenCon (glorious glorious GenCon) HOLY COW! In 3.5 days of this gaming extravaganza we racked up more than 18 miles! So, math – 18 plus (gonna say 2 miles per day – minus the GenCon days) two miles times 31 days minus 3.5 days = 2×27.5+18 = 73 miles for the month. GOAL ACHEIVED.

As I head into another month and continue on the journey of  #becomingabetterme and continuing to learn more about housing – just in a different form, I know I am on the right path and September will prove to be another successful month. Just wait and see faithful readers. I got this.

Hello April – Log Blog

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As I have posted already, April has been a trying month for me. A really trying month, but for every rain cloud there is a silver lining, right? That lining was how many miles I actually get to tell you about.

I am going to log this one kind of the same way I did the last one. There aren’t any treadmill or bike miles, and I never stopped to count the difference in my stair climbing, so they are all “Life” miles.

Here goes:

Sat 4/1 – 3.49 TOTAL: 3.49

4/2 1.78, 4/3 2.01, 4/4 2.13, 4/5 3.12, 4/6 1.92 4/7 2.77 Sat 4/8 1.38 TOTAL 15.11

4/9 1.93, 4/10 2.34, 4/11 2.27, 4/12 2.53, 4/13 1.49, 4/14 2.78, Sat 4/15 1.09 TOTAL 14.43

4/16 1.63, 4/17 3.03, 4/18 3.17, 4/19 3.14, 4/20 3.29, 4/21 3.68, Sat 4/22 2.71 TOTAL 20.66

4/23 .95, 4/24 3.82, 4/25 3.84, 4/26 3.07, 4/27 3.41, 4/28 3.17, Sat 4/29 2.19 TOTAL 20.45

4/30 2.34 TOTAL 2.34

And the drum roll please ….  *insert drum roll sound* … a grand total of 76.48 miles for the month of April!! HOLY COW!!!! I knew I had put in the steps and saw the numbers getting bigger, but it was not until I really started doing the math that I started to become more wide eyed about it!

Thinking that once I get this schedule figured out, and am working in Indy again, that I should up my planned miles from 50 to like 65! Even if I don’t, I will still be able to say that I have walked over 500 miles in 2017… I got this!

When Life Gives You Lemons… or However That Goes

FullSizeR (1)

I do not know exactly how this is going to turn out because honestly, I have so many things swimming in my head that I do not know where to begin.

After stepping off of the boat from the cruise I found out that everything at work had gone HAYWIRE. I am not going to go into any details, but trust me, it was not good.

When you are the Director of Property Operations, and a property isn’t operating, its up to you to deal with it… whether I liked it or not, it was the only option, I was going to be going to Kokomo (an hour and a half away from my house) to handle the problem.

I wont bore you with compliance details or info on what Low Income Housing Tax Credit is, but since that is the core of my job, I had to take care of it because losing money at a nonprofit is not an option.

Going into the property knowing I had less than 20 days to get an specific number of residents was a heavy load to carry. I knew that I would be able to get the applications –  it was just the processing and the moving in that I was concerned about. Sure 20 days seems like a long time, but when you only have nine days to sign the leases, the 20 is cut down rather quickly. Truly, sincerely, legitimately scared I was not going to be able to make it happen. I do not think I have ever been so stressed in my life and being away from home, in a strange town just added to it.IMG_3327

Since my blog always has something about gym therapy or working out the stress with exercise, I feel like I should add that in as well. Working from 8am until 10pm some days left little time to sweat out my emotions, until I realized how many stairs there were in the building. At the end of a rough day (again sometimes at 10pm) I would put on my tennies and just walk the stairs. Over the course of 13 business days I was at the property I would get in over 3 miles a day. I wish my Garmin counted the actual flights of stairs, rather than just plan steps taken, because I know I went up and down those things at least 50 times! It was not enough to work out the stress, but it did take the edge off.

Going back to the problem I was facing: how was I going to accomplish this goal???? What the EPH was I going to do?!?!

The answer turned out to be – JUST DO IT! More than that, do IT – and then some. FullSizeR

Now, instead of being behind and worrying about whether we could make it all happen, I am ahead of the game. Still have a long way to go, still have to be away from my family, but trying to do right by the people we serve, make a difference in the community, and support my organization.

Is it hard, hell yes its hard! Have I cried, hell yes I have! Will I break down again? I am sure of it… but I am not a quitter and failure is not an option.