When I Grow Up…

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You can always tell how I feel in the AM based on my level of make up, whether my hair is done just right, or even the shoes that I wear. Today was one of those days… very little make up, jeans and tennies, and my hair was (at best) brushed. Just was not into Tuesday – and no amount of coffee was going to change that.
Then it happened. My lunch with Jenn.
We opted for the Garden Table since they have vegan meals there. I was super happy about that because the atmosphere there is always open and easy.
As we started talking about the current events in our lives, our conversation took a serious turn. I would almost call it the “What I want to be when I grow up” conversation. We discussed the whys and what fors of our lives and where and how we wanted to get there…. She shared with me the arguments she has with herself and I told her about mine. With ZERO sarcasm, I can say it really was a wonderful time.

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Now that I am back at work (shhh… don’t tell that I typing this and not working, but I HAD to get this pen to paper so to speak), I have had a chance to breath it all in.
This journey of #becomingabetterme has basically been my WHY. When I started the healthy living, exercise, and self-discovery path, I knew I wanted to share with others the good, the bad, and the ugly of what it takes to be a better Heather, but I wanted to show the world that if I could do it, anyone could. How is that a WHY, you might ask – well to me its simple… I want to be a positive light in someone else’s life. I want to show the world that it is possible to achieve your goals – even if it takes a life time, and I want to show the world that this ol’ dog learned some tricks, and will continue to do so!
It is not every day that you get to have a heart to heart with a dear friend, and even more that you don’t get to have a conversation that makes you think seriously about who you are to the core.


I know that I am not perfect, I know that I never will be – but I am happy with myself. I still have a ways go, but I am #becomingabetterme and I am learning a little more each day about the Heather I want to be.
Thank you Jenn for reminding me to look at the reasons in life, and I look forward to seeing your perspective, as we continue on this journey of life and #becomingabetterme(s).

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End of 2017 – So, I am a Procrastinator

23167755_10214107506502267_2724069446111979931_nIf I had to rank 2017 on my “Top years of my life” I would say it was not in the Top 10… Not the Top 20 even. 2017 was really a rough year for me. Especially on the heels of 2016, which happened to be freaking amazing. Do not get me wrong, there were good times, I am not saying it was all bad, but it was very challenging and there were several changes.

You already know about the cruise (highlight), Kokomo experience (low), job change (highlight and scary experience), but you dont know about is the way the year ended… including how I ended the Log Blog – Making the Miles Count. The last post was in September, so Oct – Dec are a mystery to you…. did I make it to my 500 Miles in 2017?! Short answer: YES I DID!

October was a very “walkie” month for me as I spent a lot of time with vendors walking my properties and getting quotes, so I got in roughly 65 miles that month. Then November we decided we were going to start looking for a bigger house so we started heavy duty packing, purging, and cleaning – racked up 80 miles that month. (I believe most of those steps were to and from the trash can as I purged WAY more than my hubs expected!) Then December – another crazy month! With the Christmas season we had a tree to fill so there was a lot of mall walking, and still more cleaning, and then once our house was on the market – we had to find something to do during showings, so those hours we window shopped a lot.  Grand total of miles for Dec was 68 miles.

So for my Log Blog – I succeed. I am proud of that.

What I am not proud of is how in all of the chaos and I let ME get away from me. The person who goes to the gym to release the stress, the person who take a challenge head on (even if I talk about how I dont want to do it and am scared, I still move forward), and the me who learned what it felt like to healthy and happy at the same time and not allow myself to eat my feelings… that girl got lost in 2017.

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I guess as I sit here and reflect on what all happened at the end of 2017, I have to give myself a bit of a truth biscuit to chew on… maybe a glass of water so I dont choke on the crumbs, because although I did fall back a few steps (and gained back a few more lbs than I wanted to), I did make it HERE. To the new house, still at (and loving) the new job, with new adventures in front of me. Not only that, but I am back at the gym at least 2 times a week. I am seriously thinking about finding a new Mr T… or maybe this time I will go with a Mrs T? A trainer with a different perspective on exercise, someone to learn more from – or even to build on what my 1st Mr T taught me.  Who knows, I am unpredictable after all 🙂

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I guess to sum up my 2017 – not my finest year… but hey, just like on the spartan course, there are hills and there are valleys… I consider 2017 a hill… a muddy, slopped, rocky, and never ending hill… I just need to look at 2018 as the slide down the other side and continue on this journey of #becomingabetterme and make this year what I want of it!

 

Truth Seekers…

I know, I know I have not posted in awhile… I am sorry. I have about 3 other posts waiting for me to finish. Including my Hello November and Hello December as well as a year end recap and an in between about a really good friend of mine. I promise, I will get them out really soon… but right now I want to talk about Truth Seekers.

Before I start this post, I feel it is important to mention I do not think I am a fitness expert or a dietitian extraordinaire, but what I can say is I am someone who has been there. Someone who has asked the questions and learned from doing. That is why I feel the need to share my experiences for those who might currently be in the shoes I wore at the beginning of this journey.

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Most recently I got an email about how a friend felt like they “failed” at CrossFit. First, my opinion is if you can handle 5 mins of CrossFit you are SOOO not a failure! You might be crazy, but a failure – you are not!

My words to my friend were simple:

Who cares if you didnt finish the full work out? If the answer is anyone but YOU then your answer is wrong. You are not in competition with anyone but yourself, therefore no other opinion should matter.

When you do CrossFit, do you do more each time you go? If the answer is YES, then you know in your heart you are on the right path.

I went on to say: If you dont see improvement, then start a journal. If this week’s CrossFit routine is 100 box jumps and 200 jumping jacks and 100 burpees (etc with the crazy work out routine) and this time you did 10 box jumps and 20 jumping jacks and 1 burpee then great. Next week when you do 15 box jumps, 40 jumping jacks and 2 burpees… well, you improved! You just bested your best.. and next week you will best your best’s best! 🙂

My friend was happy with that answer… because it was the truth and they needed to hear that.

When I started the journey of#becomingabetterme I was a truth seeker. I thought at first, I was looking for approval or acknowledgement of my small accomplishment, and maybe to start I was, but ultimately I wanted someone to point out that I was really moving forward… and this is me telling you, friend, you are moving forward. You are doing great. Just keep on moving and when it is your turn to help another Truth Seeker, just remember your journey and how you felt in this moment.

Good, Bad… and this is ugly!

23658908_10214217539653027_3554832594961421350_nI have been on this venture for over two years now and I have finally figured out the UGLY. It isn’t the pain you feel when you roll out of bed the morning after a hard work out. It isn’t seeing the most gorgeous chocolate cake with the glossiest of chocolate icing and knowing it isn’t on your diet. It isn’t even knowing that although you made it over one of the walls in a Spartan Race, but knowing you have a minimum of 6 more to go. No. its none of those things.

Its the knowledge that you let time, obstacles, and life get in the way and the scales tells you that you have seriously let yourself go. The pain of knowing that you are the only reason things are this way is YOU. Its your fault… your bad… your mistake. Its all you!!!

Yup. I stepped on the scale and saw it. All that work, all those gym trips, the disciple and strength – wasted.  It is so sad to think that I was ok with the excuses.

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Mr T kicked my butt enough for me to know what I need to do and I damn well better get back into it!

I am not saying that I am 100% on the right path, but I have gotten a new battery for my garmin, started food tracking again on Fitness Pal, and even have plans to gym it up several times this week. I cannot keep backsliding. I was far to happy seeing the positive results I was getting – and I am not throwing it all away now!

I need help people, I have to get the drive and desire to #becomingabetterme back… I need a fire under my ass, I need a push… I need someone to yell at me and keep me going – not someone handing me chips while I sit on the couch to watch a movie! I am begging you, my readers to be that! Send me a text, give me a call, challenge me! Help me get back to #becomingabetterme

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Log Blog: Hello September

I understand that this a little late, but you have to understand I have been in mourning…

The Christmas of 2014 my husband bought me a Garmin Vivofit and in the instruction booklet it stated the battery would last about a year. Well, September 20, 2017 it finally pooped out.

Because of this lil dead battery I have been completely lost. RIP lil batteries, I cannot wait to get you replaced (and to ease my suffering I even bought myself a few extra colored watch bands!)

I know that I have been able to get to the gym about once a week for an extra 1-2 miles a week… then the half mile walk in and out of the office at least once a day.

So if I am doing simple math, I am looking at roughly 1.5 miles Monday thru Friday (that is 20 work days) = 30miles

Then once a week adding another 1.5 for gym visits (that is 4 extra counts) = 6 miles

Then I was trying really hard to make sure I did a little extra on the weekends so I am going to say that each of the weekends I did about 4 miles… (that is 5 weekends) = 20miles

SO to do a monkey-kinda-math breakdown, as I did above, I would say I have walked 56 miles in September.

I know this isn’t an exact number, but I am going to count this!

Keeping a pretty good run with this 50 miles a month so far! Winter is coming, we will see if I  have enough grit to keep it going!!!

Friends Make Adventures Even Better

 

Once in awhile I will go through my Facebook pictures and look at everything I have done over the course of the last few years and as I did that tonight it dawned on me that I have one hellova support group and adventure team!

It amazes me how different of a person I am now. Sure, I went on vacations with my family, or did some sporting events with the kids, or even an occasional meal with a friend, but I wasn’t a social butterfly. **I think I have made mention to this in a past blog.

Anywho, over the past couple of years I have lived by the motto “nothing cool happens within your comfort zone” and I have truly embraced that.

To be fair, some of my adventures have been non-physical, but they are adventures none the less. When you spend an evening revealing your inner most fears, or sharing stories of your past that still haunt you and bring tears to your eyes – that is still personal growth… and what is personal growth if not an adventure into a new and better you???

Since hanging with these gals I have gone to a Masquerade Ball for Halloween, gone swimming at the drop of a hat, spent a weekend in Florida just because,  been front row at a Joan Jett concert, bunked up for a week long work trip, walked two miles in a Wonder Woman costume, hiked Turkey Run, hiked Plainfield parks, had numerous laughs, numerous meals, and numerous heart to hearts.

These girls brought me out of the comfort zone in their own little way, and I hope some day I can help them the way they have helped me. I have seen several times in my life where females look down, and put down their fellow women. What is the point? What is actually gained by that? The answer is simple – NOTHING.  These ladies need to be celebrated, so that is what I am doing.  This blog is about the good, the bad, and the ugly of #becomingabetterme and maybe sometimes I don’t praise those around me enough… especially when they are the ones who inspire me to do more, and continue on this journey. So here’s to you – Angel, Kait, Jennifer, Jami, and MiMi (ok, Mindi) – Cheers! Love you all, and look forward to so many many more adventures!

Getting out the Trail Shoes Again

 

22135498_10213809396449702_651359093594914708_oAs a Hoosier there is nothing better than seeing the leaves change and knowing that sweatshirts and caramel apples are upon us… unless you like adventure – then there is something better!

Yesterday Angel and I put on our (underused) Salomons and went for a hike at Turkey Run State Park. There are trails there that range from .4 miles up to 2 miles, and then go from easy to rugged. As Spartan Chicks we were not going to let those easy and .4 milers be our day!  Trails #3 and #4 were the moderate/rugged to rugged as well as the longest ones, so that was what we did.

I have said in passing that the last year has been crazy – even stressful, but being out there yesterday made me remember that there is so much more to life than just working. Yes, what I was doing was important, of that I am sure – but what I lost sight of was how important I am.  I spent far too much time in the gym losing those 40 lbs and gaining self esteem, to let it fall by the wayside.

When I did the first Spartan it was 3500 stadium stairs (which completely explains my hatred for stairs) and in the second one, my toes and socks were all wet – well, as I was hiking yesterday I laughed at the fact that I spent so much money to do out of state what I could do right here in Indy, and at my own pace! I know it is all about the medal and the shirt at the end, but I felt just as accomplished yesterday as I did both of the days  I got my medals.

Anywho, back to the hike…

We climbs hundreds of stairs, we went down hundreds of more steps, we climbed over down trees, we walked through water, we did it all! The best part of everything  was the company. More than the caramel apples, more than the comfy sweatshirts, more than the leaves in the fall, there is nothing more soothing than just walking in the woods on a Sunday with your best friend.

These are the moments where #becomingabetterme mean the most and #movingforward the most rewarding.

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I Don’t Know!

FullSizeR (3)Have I mentioned my job change lately?  Yeah, I believe I have… and with all new jobs, there is always a learning curve, but tonight was WAAYYY different.

Let me start by saying, I have been in housing for 10 years, and in those 10 years have just constantly added to my knowledge base.

Tax Credit, got it. HOME, got it. AHP, got it. Section 8, got it. CoC, got it. HUDVash, got it. I have just taken each section and built on it.  Never at any point did I ever feel like I was completely learning something new. Just built further on what I already knew.

Now that I am in a totally different arena within the housing industry I am reminded what it is like to not be 100% aware of what I am doing, and this is territory I am not used to!

I do not mean to sound conceited, I promise! I just remember rules and am good with detail, and as I have said since I found myself in housing, “Housing is either in your blood or its not… and it is in mine!”

Tonight had me way out of my comfort zone. I was seriously at a loss. This branch of housing has a lot to do with legal jargon and understanding of bylaws, covenants, and voting quorums. Every question for the first 20 mins, and then every 5 mins for the rest of the 2 hour meeting was about the legal side of things.

I had to step back, recognize my shortcoming, and ask for help… and thank goodness I had something with me that could handle what was being thrown at us.

As I have spent several of those 10 years training and assisting others, I have received compliments like, “I hope I know as much about housing as you do at some point.” Or, “Ask Heather-pedia, she knows housing!” and I really never thought anything of it, until I looked at my coworker tonight and thought, “I cant wait until I get to that point.”

I know this isn’t my traditional style post, but I do kind of have a moral to this story… I felt so out of my element, but it is ok to not know. It is ok to ask for help. It is ok to have a new knowledge goal – just like a physical goal. It is just one step in #becomingabetterme, and I will continue to exercise my brain and one day I will reach that goal too!

Venturing Out: A Walk in the City

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As I sit here and type this I cant help but to chuckle at myself. A walk. A simple little walk and I have my arm flexed over my shoulder happily patting myself on the back. Half in seriousness, half in jest.

Today I got to a spot in my day where I could take a break so I messaged a friend and asked if they would like to grab lunch. I knew getting fresh air would probably do us both good, so I thought it was worth a try. Surprisingly the answer was YES and we agreed on the Living Room Lounge. Nothing special, but they have decent food and decent seating and the distance was not too bad either.

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As I started walking to the door I found myself having a bit of an internal struggle: do I walk the quarter mile to my car and then drive the half mile to lunch, or do I risk going on foot and possibly being late? Lots of questions went through my head…

what if I get tired on the way there? (BRAIN-drive)

what if there is no parking? (BRAIN-walk)

what if I get a blister from these shoes? (BRAIN-drive)

what if it turns out to be a waste of gas? (BRAIN-walk)

I started to look like the duck that you shoot at the county fairs, and I was getting dizzy walking back and forth in front of the door!

I made the executive decision to just hoof it! Yup, I was going to walk the half mile there and hope I wasn’t late! SIDE NOTE: I have been going to the gym for what, two plus years now, and I know that my directions telling me it was a 12 min walk was incorrect! If I can whoop out a mile in less than 20, I can sure get a half in less than 12!

Anywho, I did it. I met my friend for lunch (even beat them there), and had a great time. (Thank you again, Friend… if you are reading this)

The walk back was just about the same…an easygoing, beautiful day in Indy, and I loved it.

So now I am sure you are thinking, “OK Heather, where is the great moral or even small point to this interesting story?” The point is simple… especially if you have met me… I stepped even further out of my comfort zone! I walked almost a mile to and from lunch during the week! For me that was another obstacle in my life. Venturing out when I was on a schedule and couldn’t just flop down after it was over! Going it alone! Doing something that felt a little scary, but still so very right.

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I know it is small potatoes to a lot of people… maybe even you… but when I was standing at the cross walk looking at my building, I felt something I haven’t really felt in awhile – I felt proud of me.  It has been a minute since I did something that I can truly say is part of the journey of #becomingabetterme, but this was definitely a good something.

Hello April – Log Blog

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As I have posted already, April has been a trying month for me. A really trying month, but for every rain cloud there is a silver lining, right? That lining was how many miles I actually get to tell you about.

I am going to log this one kind of the same way I did the last one. There aren’t any treadmill or bike miles, and I never stopped to count the difference in my stair climbing, so they are all “Life” miles.

Here goes:

Sat 4/1 – 3.49 TOTAL: 3.49

4/2 1.78, 4/3 2.01, 4/4 2.13, 4/5 3.12, 4/6 1.92 4/7 2.77 Sat 4/8 1.38 TOTAL 15.11

4/9 1.93, 4/10 2.34, 4/11 2.27, 4/12 2.53, 4/13 1.49, 4/14 2.78, Sat 4/15 1.09 TOTAL 14.43

4/16 1.63, 4/17 3.03, 4/18 3.17, 4/19 3.14, 4/20 3.29, 4/21 3.68, Sat 4/22 2.71 TOTAL 20.66

4/23 .95, 4/24 3.82, 4/25 3.84, 4/26 3.07, 4/27 3.41, 4/28 3.17, Sat 4/29 2.19 TOTAL 20.45

4/30 2.34 TOTAL 2.34

And the drum roll please ….  *insert drum roll sound* … a grand total of 76.48 miles for the month of April!! HOLY COW!!!! I knew I had put in the steps and saw the numbers getting bigger, but it was not until I really started doing the math that I started to become more wide eyed about it!

Thinking that once I get this schedule figured out, and am working in Indy again, that I should up my planned miles from 50 to like 65! Even if I don’t, I will still be able to say that I have walked over 500 miles in 2017… I got this!