Cheryl Martin 12/4/57 – 12/26/21

Today was the day we laid my mother to rest. It isn’t always easy to find the words to say, but here is what I said…

I wrote this down in case I had to hand it off to be read, so I apologize if it sounds like an essay from high school.

As I thought about what I wanted to say today, I knew I didn’t want to be too mushy and make everyone cry more than they already have been. So I went back through my memories of my mother and I realized that the ones that really stuck out to me – good and bad – came back to music.

It started when I got my first record player and Mom let me listen to her old 45s… I remember instantly loving Sugar Sugar by the Archies and her singing it to me. She also introduced me to Simon and Garfunkel by playing the opening line of Sounds of Silence on Grandpa’s old organ. I am not sure how old I was when I found out that the song had more words than just “Hello darkness my old friend” but I will never forget her singing and playing that one line over and over.

Then when I became a teenager we always had music going. When Mom was ready to clean she would put Pat Benatar albums on. I loved her music, but I still have PTSD about it, and actually do the same thing in my house now when I am about to do a deep clean. (Sorry kiddos, I am sure I have given you PTSD as well). When it was just us girls and Mom home on Sundays, she would put on an Air Supply album and crochet while sitting in my step dads chair. I kinda think that was her way of boycotting football.

There was one time we took a trip to Pennsylvania for a family members birthday, I remember falling asleep in the car and Mom singing John Denver in my dreams and then waking up to find she was doing it in real life too. I think it was because of that she hypnotized me into buying that album every time I found it at thrift stores.

Even my first concert was something worth mentioning. For my 17^th birthday my mom got me tickets to see Don Henley. At the time, of course I was thrilled, but to look back on it now, it amazes me that as a teenager I got to see the one of the most famous lead singers of any bands.

Even our trips to the grocery store had music in it. There were four of us teenage girls so arguing was a way of life. While at Kroger, if we started to argue Mom would say something like, “Ohh I like this song!” Didn’t matter if it was instrumental, an oldie, or even a Kroger commercial, she would start doing this dance, and oh my goodness was it scary – but it made us stop arguing, scatter, and was a win for Mom in that battle.

The music continued in to my 30s too… when Mom wanted to seal her basement floor at the Emerson House, she called us to help. I know it was Brie, Darin, Mom, Sabin and I down there doing the work. We were just working away and I started singing Turn the Radio Up and Mom, a sucker for harmony, started singing with me. Now, the fumes were pretty serious, so either this happened, or I was super high – but I remember everyone stopping and listened. When we were done Mom said something snappy and everyone clapped –  but again, we were pretty high from the fumes so I am not sure I am remembering that correctly.

When Mom was working on getting the Albany house ready to sell, she asked me come and help her paint the upstairs hall and stairway, so I did. Not long after we started Mom asked me to play some music, so I turned on Pandora and Two Ticket to Paradise came on and she and I started singing. Midway through the song Mom started to giggle, Sabin was standing at the bottom of stairs listening and I vaguely remember her asking him if he was recording us. As I type this I am starting to see that Mom used music to disguise manual labor!

Anywho, from watching her swoon over Steve Perry, who she admitted although he was blessed with an awesome voice he could not dance, to watching Dirty Dancing with her a million times and listening to her tell me that Patrick Swayze could dance and was likely the love of her life because of those dance skills. Taking mom to Beef and Boards to see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Seven Brides for Seven Brother, Sound of Music, she would be smiling with every song. I got that same smile when she came to sit in the audience when I had a one and a half min part in Guys and Dolls musical in high school, it has all been about her love of music and passing it on to me.

The music may have stopped playing here on Earth for Mom, but she introduced me to one more song that really makes me think of her now and I would like to share some of the lyrics with you now. It’s a Matthew West song and it goes like this:

 I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I’ll say it again and again
I love you more

I love you Momma and I will miss you forever.

End of the Year Recap (actually done early this year)

I am not going to pretend that 2019 was a dumpster fire, but it was maybe a small trashcan fire?

The End.

Kidding.

I am not scared of hard work or long hours but I do want my time to be MY TIME and as I look back over the year, I cannot really remember when I could say that I had that… but rather than focusing on the negative, I am going to point out the positives of the year that have helped me rise from the ashes and become the phoenix I know I will be in 2020.

To start: Book Club. Yup. I started a book club. Consisting of 8 gals with different histories, different points of view, and of various generations we all spoke our minds and rejoiced in the ability to share with no judgement. In the #becomingabetterme campaign I was not sure that fiction could help, but it really did. Opened my eyes to books I never on my own would have picked, and forced me to step outside of my comfort zone with said books.

Next: Found out I was going to be a MiMi. Lets not pretend (again) that at first this was not terrifying news. My daughter becoming a mother at 20 and me a grandmother at 43… *shivers* (will come back to this)

Then: Checking one of the biggest bucket list items off my list. NYC! Could not have had more fun (or walked more!) I did have to uninstall my work email on my phone because I was NOT going to let work continue to hold me down while I was taking a much needed break.  Side note: the whole point of PTO is mentally take a break, to regroup, and spend time with friends and loved one – NOT continue to answer emails when you are 900 miles away! Anywho, trip was sooo needed and soo fun. Even having our flight canceled and having to stay an extra night with no clean clothes (or suitcase) was an interesting part of the adventure!

Continuing into the year: Things at work got rather rocky, and that was when I knew it was time to move on. When a company you work with lets one of its most loyal and conviction driven employees go, you know that it not the place for you, so I put in my notice and did the most scary thing I have ever done…. I signed up for real estate brokers classes to pursue my dream. A three week – 90 hour course, that you had to pass to be eligible to take the state exam. ***here is where we jump back to the whole MiMi thing… I had to pass 3 tests in the class to get my certificate of eligibility. The three tests were 100 questions each and collectively I had to get a 75% to pass. The first test I got an 87 out of 100, the second I got an 83 out of 100 – which meant I had to get 55 questions right to pass the class. Sounds easy right? With the scores of the last two, I was pretty confident I would be fine. EXCEPT the night before the final test my daughter goes into labor. I got to the hospital about 9:45 and it was clear it was going to be a wee hours of the morning birth. I emailed my instructor to tell him the status  – which I did not receive an reply since it was the middle of the night.

INSERT ADDITIONAL ISSUE ON THE SAME NIGHT…(I know I was not going to bring up the bad, but I felt this was important information since it had to do with the obstacles in front of me during all of this) plumbing back up in the house had us calling professionals in to extract the water and clear our lines all while Kat is in labor. Fun night.

So, I officially became a grandmother at 5:27am on November 25th to the most beautiful little girl in the whole world.

Back to class – I didn’t get home from the hospital until 8am so there was no way I was going to be taking any test. As we expected the plumbers/restoration team to come back at 10AM, I needed a power nap, so that is what happened. I did finally receive an email from my instructor with the information I needed to take the final test the next day. Done and Done! I took it and again, flying colors! 88 questions out of the 100. I was them eligible to take the state exam!

Fast forward to December 23rd: I am sitting here at the dining room table, coffee cup almost empty, and two pieces of paper that say I passed the national section AND the state section of the state exam for my Indiana Real Estate Brokers license.

Now, as I sit here not unemployed, but rather, in business for myself I am scared a little. I am not scared of hard work, and I am not above putting in the hours required to make a solid living, but part of this career change is more about taking my own life back. I do not want to work for someone who is not going to appreciate the time I put in, or the knowledge I  have to offer, or even more than that ME AS A PERSON…  and since I do value myself, this path is just one more way to #becomingabetterme.

I am well aware that there should really be more wins in the course of 365 days, but 2019 kind of fell short, so here is my promise for the upcoming year.

1. More gym – healthier me
2.  5ks – its go time again, Cupcake
3.  travel… travel… travel (even if they are just simple trips a few days at a time!)
4.  pottery class – I meant it, I want to make my own huge coffee mug
5.  spend time with my kids and grandbaby and friends
6.  #becomingabetterme continues

Simple really, I had a fire of a year, and now its time to fly! Cheers to the upcoming year. It will be the best year ever!

 

 

28 – 1 Week

Its one week until weigh in. Am I nervous… absolutely.  I have already stated that I do not really feel comfortable in competitions, especially when it comes to weight loss. I have had several issues when it comes to losing weight quickly. I have to really just put my head down and plow through it. Not worrying about time frames, or deadlines, or even the $20 I put in to see if I could do it… Anywho, I have tried to make these last three weeks count. I do not know if I will make it, but what I can tell you about this last 21 days is this:

I have not had any desserts (really freakin hard)

I have limited my bread intake

I have gone to the gym 2-3 times a week

I have taken the stairs 4 of the 5 days each week (exceptions are when I am with others or carrying more than one bag… too stinkin heavy)

I have had ZERO ice cream

I have been trying to do better about getting my full 7-8 hours of sleep

I have been drinking a lot of water, but I have actually tried to drink more around bedtime (which is supposed to help with digestions)

Although a short list, it is still a list of things I have done to give a try to this 4% weight loss. Even if it isn’t enough I have still lost 5lbs in this last few weeks… With only 2.6 lbs to go, I am going to give it a serious college try to get that $20 back!

On a side note… I have been on this journey for about three and a half four years now and to see how things have been going, I did a side by side of start to present…

#becomingabetterme #stillonthisjourney #Iamnotdoneyet

 

Hello March – Making the Miles Count

Had a conversation with a friend today (you know who you are… and thank you for the kick in the butt) and I was reminded that my HELLO MARCH was a little behind. Even if I hadn’t had a chance to type it all out, I did keep track of my miles! I will be posted a vacation post, but let me say, that out of my 50 miles, 26 of those were from being on the cruise ship. YES! I said on a cruise I racked up over half of my miles… I wont go into detail as I will be doing another blog, but as for March – here goes!

3/1 1.34,  3/2 2.17,  3/3 2.23,  3/4 1.78,  3/5 2.13,  3/6 2.34,  3/7 1.06,  3/8 1.62,  3/9 1.79,  3/10 1.88,  3/11 2.14,  3/12  1.11, 3/13 1.43,  3/14  2.24,  3/15 1.67,  3/16 2.03,  3/17 2.37,  3/18 1.42,  3/19 2.35,  3/19 2.35,  3/20 2.79,  3/21 1.84,  3/22 1.84,  3/23 1.31,  3/24 1.43,  3/25 1.92,

3/26 3.07, 3/27 4.09, 3/28 4.63, 3/29 3.87, 3/30 5.17, 3/31 5.81

Monthly Total of: 73.03

Holy cow!! For all the hours that I am putting in at the office and the few I am getting into the gym, this has been a huge month for me!

Things are all kinds of crazy right now, but I am still planning to get my way back!

Fingers crossed for me, all!!

Feeling Like A Monday

I have been debating on writing this one for awhile now, but I promised I would be honest about the good, bad, and the ugly of this journey, and for the last few months I have been in the middle of the ugly.

When I wrote a couple of months ago, I mentioned my job morphing and it continued to do so… I am now titled: Director of Property Operations… and I love it. My struggle, however is the stress… I have been putting in roughly 60 hours a week and still being so far behind I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

This is when I take a minute, step back and regroup. You know that one way I do this is via the gym, but I also use music to get me through.

Yesterday on my way home from work I was playing vehicle karaoke – don’t judge me – and listening to my husband (Jon Bon Jovi) and this song came on…

I know that it is just a song, but sometimes singing at the top of my lungs and remembering that I don’t have to keep it together all of the time…. and right now I do not. I am so far from together it isn’t even funny. So until I get myself back on track this is what I am going with the idea that Someday I will be Saturday night.

Summer of Fun

 

As I was looking at Facebook and going through some of my pictures I couldn’t help but smile. As a mother of active teenagers and then the wife of a game designer I am always busy. Running here… taking kids there… then adding in the normal stuff that every household has to deal with: groceries, dinner, cleaning, WORKING… but this summer, this summer was a little different. I took time to do things for me, and let me tell you, I loved it. Not only did I love it, but truly, I needed it.

When I started the journey of #becomingabetterme, I had to start out by figuring who and what I wanted to be. Sure, I wanted to weigh less, I wanted to be healthier, I wanted to be nicer, but honestly, I wanted to be happier.

That was where I had a problem. I have never really been in a place that allowed me enough time to stop and figure out what is that made me happy. Don’t get me wrong, being a mom and a wife makes me happy, but I needed to know what made HEATHER happy. What HEATHER wanted out of life. This summer has given me a glimpse of all of that.

This summer started off with my Journey concert at the track. Then Def Leppard/REO Speedwagon/Tesla at Klipsch. Then two concerts in one weekend Chris Young/Brad Paisley followed the next night by Gwen Stefani. Then last concert of my summer was Rob Thomas/Counting Crows all at Klipsch as well. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but music is a big part of my life and to get to see some of my faves belt out their songs live, well, that is epitome of happy in my book.

Let us not forget my birthday extravaganza… I realize my birthday was a singular day, but as a lover of my special day, I tend to drag it out for at least the month.

Now only was the summer music packed but (as always) we added Gen Con to the mix. (Did I mention I am a huge nerd?) Four days of nothing but gaming… the “four best day of gaming” to be exact. Never a dull moment there. Not only did I spend a lot of brain power winning over half of the games I played, but I got to enjoy the cosplayers in their personalized versions of pop culture, comic, or game character costumes.

To round out the summer, there was a Housing Conference in Detroit I got the privilege of attending. For those who do not know, my job is all rules and regulations and compliance and structure… and I love it. My part of the conference was learning more rules and how to figure  cash flow and net operating income (blah blah blah, right… wrong. I LOVE IT!). Yes, it was mind melting, but I love learning how to do my job better.

Needless to say, in a matter of three short months I squeezed in a lot of play time. Which by extension was time practicing being a better me.

Before I sat down to write this, when I was looking at my pictures I started to get a little down on myself. I ran no real races (yes I have done a couple of virtual 5ks, but no real ones), I haven’t been with Mr T (my trainer) since the beginning of May, and there really hasn’t been a week where I have gone to the gym more than two times, where I was going three to four times each week… but then I looked at what I had done.

I spent time with friends, I walked miles upon miles without flinching, I made my brain stronger, and even taught the noob gamers a thing or two ; ) I enjoyed myself and still did what I needed to do to figure out that I am more than a mom or a wife… I am a person and the happier I am, the more productive I can be!

Once I got past all of that, I also realized that I did put in some serious gym time, and even managed to keep my weight right where I left off in May!

I can honestly say, with the kids back in school and the summer winding down I am looking forward to seeing what comes next!